PAT TREK

Stemmos Station's security team receives a distress call from a nearby Crama freighter. When they arrive, they discover something much more sinister than they expected.

Lindsay joins the Pats once again to talk about another Geordi episode, the physics of invisibility in Predator, and why you should never trust a man with a pencil-thin mustache.

The security of Stemmos Station continue their search for Glaxxom after he was lost in a horrific transporter accident. Will the best ensigns in Starfleet be able to find him? Or is he forever scattered across the Beta Quadrant?

Grant joins the Pats once again for the sequel to his previous appearance. In Galaxy's Child, the Enterprise crew encounters a mutant ravioli from space, while Geordie meets the living human version of the hologram he developed an unhealthy attachment to.

Pat and Pat talk First Contact (the episode, not the movie), where Riker's espionage mission to a pre-warp culture is exposed, and Picard must negotiate with an alien leader who sounds a lot like Unsolved Mysteries' Robert Stack.

Today is a very important day, because today two things of note are happening...

First, I get to meet our newest security team. They sound like upstanding young ensigns, and I can not wait to meet them.

Second, I have been awaiting the arrival of Glaxxom, an Ambassador from Zadhira. We must talk soon for the stability of the entire region depends us reaching an understanding about his planet's history.

The Enterprise finds itself in a mystery of lost time, forcing Data to keep a secret from his captain against all odds, and the Pats to talk about beard growth measurement for several minutes.

When the Enterprise answers a scrambled distress call, they unearth a planet in apocalyptic crisis, and a godlike flim-flammer, or "con artist", to use a more obscure term.

The Pats discuss The Wounded, where O'Brien comes to term with past trauma, the Federation chases down a war criminal from their own fleet, and Picard preserves a shaky peace with an alien race that we apparently should have known about.

This week, the Pats discuss Data's Day: an in-depth look of how Data navigates human relationships, deals with human customs, and avoids plunging the galaxy into years of war.

In this episode, the Enterprise must navigate away from a dangerous anomaly in space, and Troi experiences a momentary loss of her powers, thanks to a heavy handed metaphor outside the ship.

Carlos (The Dungeon Rats) and Aram (Godsfall) join the Pats to break down The Final Mission: an episode that gives us radiation mishaps, weird old miners, and the final regular cast appearance of Wesley Crusher

After Riker passes out in a cloud of toxic gas, he awakens in command of the Enterprise 16 years later (OR DOES HE?), then in the clutches of the dreaded Romulans (OR IS HE?)

In Reunion, K'Ehelyr returns with the son that Worf never knew, Picard tries to mediate a struggle for the Klingon throne, and Pat O. mixes up the names of Michael Dorn and Michael Piller.

Pat & Pat break down Legacy, where the Enterprise crew chases a distress signal to Turkana IV, discovers Tasha Yar's long-lost sister, and takes part in underground post-apocalyptic gang warfare.

A static warp bubble traps Dr. Crusher in an alternate reality, while the Enterprise crew struggle to bring her home by reminding her that time, space, and thought are All One Thing.

The Enterprise crew is forced into a delicate situation as a human-born foundling raised in an alien culture comes aboard. Cultural divides are bridged, a young man overcomes childhood trauma, and Picard gets stabbed in the chest (again).

Two young boys on the Enterprise are forced to forgive and forget after a nearly fatal practical joke, while Data gets his brain hijacked and is forced to visit a planet of Brent Spiners.

As the Enterprise gets repaired following its battle with the Borg, Worf reconnects with his parents, Wesley gets a recording from his dad, and Picard travels to France to wrestle his brother in a mud pit.

Pat, Pat, & Chris Geiger finish the thrilling conclusion of The Best of Both Worlds, where Riker proves his ability to command the Enterprise, and Data pulls a Jeff Goldblum on a fearsome alien mothership.

Pat and Pat are joined by Chris Geiger to break down the thrilling conclusion of Season 3: the one where Picard gets a bunch of computer parts glued to his face.

In this episode, the Enterprise crew rescues a mysterious crash victim who struggles to recover his memory and evolves into a phosphorescent Green Man costume.

In this episode, a rogue Ferengi kidnaps Lwaxana and Deanna Troi, Riker beats up a badguy with his chess skills, and Captain Picard yells some Shakespeare.

In Sarek, a legendary diplomat shows up on the Enterprise to negotiate a difficult treaty, while Pat & Pat mistake a vat of goo for the real villain in the episode: getting old as hell.

Pat and Pat dive in to The Most Toys, where an evil art thief has captured Data to add to his priceless collection of paintings, sculptures, and rare puppetry.

In Hollow Pursuits, Pat and Pat explore an episode where the Engineering crew must solve a mysterious warp drive malfunction with the help of a socially awkward junior officer (hopefully before reporting him to HR).

Zack Mast returns to Pat Trek to talk about Tin Man, an episode where a powerful Betazoid bonds with a living ship, crawls inside its weird hollow body, and blows himself up.

The Pats break down Captain's Holiday, where Picard takes a much-needed vacation, goes on an archaeological dig, and buys some nice interstellar erotic art for his pal Riker.

The Pats break down Allegiance, where Picard is kidnapped by some very rude aliens, a space warthog tries to eat his cellmate, and a Picard doppelgänger tries to fly the Enterprise into a star.

In Sins of the Father, Chelsea from the Long Trek Home podcast joins the Pats to recap the drama, intrigue, and thrills of a Klingon circuit appeals court.

With The Offspring, Pat and Pat use Star Trek to ask the tough questions, such as: What makes a family a family? What is a sentient being? Do people on the Enterprise use scissors to cut their hair, or some kind of laser thing?

In Yesterday's Enterprise, Pat and Pat (mostly Pat W) struggle to make sense of an alternate timeline where the Federation is in a 20-year war, and Tasha Yar returns to not let herself die such a dumb, meaningless death.

Join the Pats, Chris, Stephen, Zack, and Lindsay on the second installment of the Star Trek Adventures tabletop game. The crew of the USS Venture embark on their first mission: delivering supplies to station Epsilon III. Will everything go according to plan? Probably not, because that would be boring.

​In Matter of Perspective, Pat and Pat discuss another courtroom in space episode that starts strong and gets muddled with some questionable writing choices towards the end. They lighten the mood with some dueling Andy Rooney impersonations.

​Pat, Pat, and Brian Sebby break down Deja Q, a thrilling episode where the Federation must stop a moon from crashing into a planet, Q learns what feelings are, and the Enterprise security yet again just let any rando waltz into the shuttle bay.

The Pats try to decide who truly has the high ground in this season 3 Melinda Snodgrass political thriller. Is it the terrorist organization with no unifying cause, or the police state they inhabit?

​Aram of Godsfall and Dungeon Rats fame joins the Pats to discuss The Hunted, an episode that attempted to confront serious issues of PTSD and veterans' rights with extended scenes of awkward grappling.

Pranks from Never Tell Me the Pods sits down with Pat and Pat to talk about The Defector, a gripping episode full of Romulan/Federation intrigue, Shakespeare, and the worst spy in the galaxy.

This week, the Pats break down The Vengeance Factor, a fun romp of an episode where the Enterprise crew must make peace between warring factions of civilized Vice Principals and the rag-tag Party Dude Burnouts.​

By special request, Lindsay returns to Pat Trek to discuss an uncharacteristically panned 3rd season episode: The Price, where the Federation must negotiate against wily Ferengi and Troi is seduced by Lloyd from Seinfeld.

​In this week's Pat Trek, Geordi makes peace with a Romulan foe while the Enterprise narrowly avoids war. Also, Pat and Pat confuse Teddy Roosevelt with Joe Don Baker.

On "Booby Trap", Grant joins Pat and Pat to discuss an episode featuring Geordie's ethically questionable use of the Holodeck, and yet another ancient space curse.

In The Bonding, Pat and Pat find a very emotionally heavy episode of Star Trek, where Worf must deal with the responsibilities of command, an alien being of pure energy invades the ship, and everybody talks about their dead parents.

This week, Pat and Pat discuss Who Watches the Watchers, pore over the true meaning of the Prime Directive, and argue for five minutes straight about whether or not the Enterprise medical staff can heal an arrow wound.

Pat and Pat get back to watching TNG with an episode about a guy who wants to be left alone, Worf enjoying some tea, and a mystery that Picard must solve.

Lindsay Baish-Flynn returns to Pat Trek to recap Ensigns of Command: an episode where Data learns how to use brute force to solve his problems and Picard and Troi outwit a sentient sleeping bag.

Pat and Pat dive into Season 3 with Evolution, an episode where we find Dr. Beverly Crusher returning to the Enterprise and Wesley's weird nerd habits almost destroying the ship (again).

Alcohollywood's Clint Worthington returns to help the Pats close out the 2nd season with Shades of Gray. A mysterious illness takes hold of Commander Riker, forcing him to relive every time he faced imminent danger or arousal.

Pat and Pat finally get to The Emissary (out of proper order), an episode where the Enterprise crew must pacify a ship full of recently awoken Klingons, and Worf gets busy in the holodeck.

It's the final installment of our BONUS series! Thanks for playing Star Trek Adventures with us. We can't wait to do it again.

Oooops, with all the holiday rush we screwed up. Pat accidentally skipped The Emissary. Sorry, we will make it up next week.

In Peak Performance, the Pats finally get to see what happens when Riker and Picard match wits in a battle simulator, and Data and some guy with gills go head to head in a board game with milking attachments on it.

It's part two of our special three part series! Will the ensigns find the science station? Or will their fear hold them back?

For more information on the game, visit Modiphius Entertainment.

Playing with the Pats are Chris Geiger, Lindsay Baish, and Stephen Kropa.

We got our hands on the alpha version of the Star Trek Adventures Tabletop RPG from Modiphius Games. We had a blast playing it, so Pat O. couldn't help himself and edited together a special 3 part mini-series.

Playing with the Pats are Chris Geiger, Lindsay Baish, and Stephen Kropa.

Surena Marie from The Dungeon Rats joins the Pats to watch Manhunt, an episode featuring the return of Lwaxana Troi, a Dixon Hill holodeck adventure, and a certain British soft-rock star in a full-body alien fish costume.

In Up the Long Ladder, pandemonium erupts on the Enterprise as hundreds of ethnic stereotypes from a Thomas Nast cartoon seek refuge on the ship. Pat and Pat dissect this poorly received second season episode, full of dropped subplots, broad comedy, and clones.

Ben Vigeant of Space Lincoln joins Pat and Pat to talk about Samaritan Snare, an episode packed with personal revelations from Captain Picard and villains from the 1991 Dan Aykroyd film Nothing but Trouble.

This week's Pat Trek sees the return of both Chris Geiger and Q in Q Who, an episode featuring everyone's favorite multidimensional trickster, as well as the first appearance of the Borg (and baby Borglings).

In Pen Pals, the Pats break down an episode where Wesley takes his first command, the Enterprise crew saves a planet from destruction, and everyone wrings their hands over the Prime Directive for 40 minutes.

In The Icarus Factor, Pat and Pat dig deep into Riker's relationship with his father, Klingon bar-mitzvahs, and wrestling your dad.

In Time Squared, the Enterprise crew gets thrown for a loop once again by the complexities of space time. Pat and Pat break down a mostly forgettable episode where Picard murders his future self and Riker screws up scrambled eggs.

Eric Scull guest stars on Pat Trek to discuss one of his favorite episodes: The Royale. Once again, the Enterprise crew is trapped in a film noir story full of swaggering gangsters, high-rolling gamblers, and terrible dialog (but on purpose this time).

The Pats continue their slog through middling season two episodes with Contagion. After the USS Yamato mysteriously explodes while studying an ancient alien graveyard, the Enterprise crew must uncover clues as to what destroyed their sister ship (SPOILER: it was the ancient alien graveyard).

Coming down off the high of Measure of a Man, Pat and Pat trudge through a more forgettable episode: The Dauphin. The Enterprise crew handles some delicate alien diplomacy, Wesley falls in love with a shapeshifter, and the Holodeck is surprisingly used for something other than death or sex.

Brian Sebby returns to Pat Trek to talk about one of TNG's most critically acclaimed episodes: Measure of a Man. Data fights for his legal rights as a person, Picard reunites with an old flame, and Pat W. struggles not to laugh at the words "JAG officers".

The Pats recap A Matter of Honor, a fast-paced, action-packed episode where Riker has an adventure on a real Klingon vessel, not a Holodeck sex fantasy or a sad desert.

Cinemajaw's Matt Kubinski joins the Pats to dissect Unnatural Selection, an episode featuring everyone's favorite single-season filler character, Dr. Pulaski.

Peaches & Hot Sauce's own Schuyler Weinberg talks with the Pats about The Schizoid Man, an episode where the Enterprise crew learns about what it means to be human. Also, Data gets a horny old man stuck in his android brain.

Pat W and Pat O try their hand at diplomacy in Loud as a Whisper, an early Season 2 episode where viewers learn a lesson about sign language, a war is (maybe) averted, and not much else happens.

Pat W.'s older brother Thomas guests on this week's edition of Pat Trek to talk about the Outrageous Okona, an early season 2 episode with a CBS version of Han Solo and special appearance by Joe Piscopo for some reason.

Once again, the Enterprise crew nearly destroys themselves by playing dress-up in the Holodeck. Carlos Luna joins Pat and Pat to chat about Elementary, Dear Data, the nature of life itself, and why Starfleet installed this death machine on the ship in the first place.

Lindsay Baish-Flynn returns to the show to talk to Pat and Pat about Where Silence Has Lease, a bizarre episode that finds the Enterprise crew trapped in a black hole by a sadistic late-80s CGI face.

Pat and Pat begin the journey into season two with "The Child", a confusing story that combines a deadly virus and an immaculately conceived space Jesus.

Pat, Pat, and Zack venture outside the studio and the TNG universe to see Star Trek Beyond, a summer flick that's one part Star Trek, seven parts action movie. (SPOILERS AHEAD)

Pat and Pat sit down with Max Temkin of Cards Against Humanity to talk about "The Neutral Zone", the final episode in the long, strange journey of season one.

Pat and Pat break down Conspiracy, the most violent and graphic episode of Star Trek TNG yet, chock full of mind control grubs, phaser shootouts, and an exploding pile of meat that once was a Starfleet officer.

Pat and Pat explore the streets of Space France in "We'll Always Have Paris", an episode where Picard rekindles an old flame, Data travels through five seconds of time, and not much else happens.

Pat and Pat sit down with Jason Baker to talk about Skin of Evil, a controversial episode where not much happens, other than a main character getting killed by a puddle.

Pat and Pat break down Symbiosis, an episode where the Enterprise takes on a planet full of drug-pushers, the Prime Directive is stretched to the limit, and Wesley enrolls in D.A.R.E.

Improviser TJ King and P&HS contributor Zack Mast join the Pats to discuss The Arsenal of Freedom--an episode in which LaForge's command skills are put to the test, and Picard outsmarts a homicidal chatbot.

Pat and Pat discuss one of season one's better episodes, Heart of Glory. This week, the Enterprise crew pick up a band of Klingon outlaws, Captain Picard almost kills his away team by babbling about Geordie's visor, and Worf finally delivers more than one or two lines for once.

Brian Sebby returns to the show to discuss Coming of Age, a Wesley-centric episode that surprisingly holds up. This week, the Pats discuss a shadowy conspiracy threatening the Federation, and rigorous Academy exams that look a lot like hazing.

Pat W. literally phones in this episode of Pat Trek from vacation in Omaha to discuss Home Soil. In this episode, the Enterprise crew must solve a murder on a terraform base, and suffer the insults of a sentient talking rock.

Peaches and Hot Sauce contributor Zack Mast sits down with Pat and Pat to discuss When the Bough Breaks, an uncharacteristically good Season 1 episode, until it takes a bizarre turn in the third act.

This week, the Pats discuss Too Short a Season, an episode where a diseased Muppet must help Picard negotiate a hostage situation on an alien planet, raising big questions about the Prime Directive.

The Enterprise takes a break from deep space exploration to get upgrades from an alien race of binary cybernetic creatures. Alcohollywood's Clint Worthington sits down with the Pats to talk about Bynars, Starfleet, and Riker's questionable use of the Holodeck.

This week, the Pats sit down with Kathryn Fallucco to discuss Angel One, a mysterious planet where the Enterprise crew must negotiate with a female-dominated oligarchy, rescue a rogue band of Men's Rights Activists, and control Riker's libido.

This week, the Pats dig further in to the first season to discuss Data and his twin brother in Datalore. Where did Data come from? Why does he talk like that? Why was he built to resemble character actor Brent Spiner? Some of these questions will be answered, and more on this episode of Pat Trek.

Finally, the Holodeck gets used for something other than a place for Riker to mope about girl problems, as Picard takes a virtual-reality vacation to live the life of a 1940s private eye. Brian Holden of Starkid joins Pat and Pat to discuss his Star Trek fandom and whether or not the Holodeck is actually an elaborate execution chamber.

Lindsay Baish joins Pat and Pat to talk about Haven, an episode supposedly set in the 24th century, but is clearly inspired by the 1980s. Deanna Troi deals with a surprise arranged marriage, big-haired aliens hail the Enterprise, and Armin Shimerman makes another Star Trek appearance as a talking silver box that poops out jewels.

Stephen Kropa joins Pat and Pat to discuss the return of Star Trek's most famous transdimensional being in Hide and Q. Meanwhile, Riker is given godlike powers, which he surprisingly does not use for sex.

On today's episode, Carlos Luna joins Pat and Pat to discuss the second appearance of the Ferengi in The Battle. Enemies come to the Enterprise bearing gifts, skeletons are pulled from dusty closets, and Picard gets tortured by a weird globe.

Vishnu Boray joins Pat and Pat in the studio to discuss the seventh episode of season one, Justice. In today's episode, the Enterprise encounters a living god, and Picard nearly ends Wesley's life by sending him to explore a quasi-fascist sex planet.

Pat O.'s mom and dad stop by the studio to talk about The Lonely Among Us and the O'Rourke family's love of Captain Picard. Pat W. gets further in to the universe of Star Trek in an episode full of beings of pure energy and slapstick alien cannibalism.

Pat and Pat venture where millions of viewers in 1987 have gone before as they review Where No One Has Gone Before, the fifth episode of Star Trek: TNG. Mel Fox joins the Pats as they wrap their heads around long-distance space travel and Wesley Crusher's messiah complex.

In The Last Outpost, an away team uncovers an ancient mystery planetside (again) and the Enterprise crew nearly dies (again). Join Pat, Pat, and The Nerdologues' Chris Geiger as they chat about TNG's fourth episode, as well as the first appearance of the Ferengi.

On this week's episode of Pat Trek, Pat & Pat finally come into agreement over Code of Honor, an almost universally panned episode of TNG. Special guest Brian Sebby joins the Patricks to pick apart the wreckage of this televised train wreck.

Sean Kelley of Improvised Star Trek joins the Patricks to discuss The Naked Now. In this episode of Pat Trek, they debate whether the second installment of TNG was any good, as well as the ethics of programming a robot for sex.

On September 28, 1987, Star Trek returned to television for the first time in almost 20 years with Encounter at Farpoint. In this episode, Patrick O. guides Patrick W. through the complexities of Starfleet, the mystery of Q, and why Jean-Luc Picard has a British accent.